Stranger Things: Argyle’s 10 Best Quotes

Volume 1 of Stranger Things 4 Introduces many new great characters to the series, but none of them are as hilarious as Jonathan’s new best friend, Argyle (Eduardo Franco). Argyle is a proud pothead and pizza delivery boy who, for all his cliché California surfer bro ways, actually has a considerable amount of wisdom in some key moments.

But as wise as Argyle is when no one is expecting him to be, Argyle is far more frequently one of the season’s biggest sources of hilarious lines, ranging from dumb puns to awkward moments to flat out ridiculous ways of retelling events the characters have endured. Argyle is definitely one of a kind as a character in Stranger Thingsand his best quotes perfectly summarize why he is such a great addition.

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His Fashion Advice For Mike

“Oh, No, No, No. No, It’s A Sh**ty Knockoff. Don’t Sweat It, Man. I’ll Get You The Good Stuff Out Here.”


Argyle checks the tag on Mike Wheeler's shirt in Stranger Things

The 1980s was a period defined by loud and colorful fashion choices, but Argyle boasts some of the series’ brightest and boldest outfits (which are almost always paired with a ridiculous hat). When he first meets Mike at the airport, he sets his sights on scoping out the authenticity of Mike’s clothes.

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Immediately, Argyle can tell that Mike is wearing knockoffs and not the real thing, which just won’t fly now that Mike is part of Argyle’s social circle. “Oh, no, no, no. No, it’s a sh**ty knockoff,” he laments. “Don’t sweat it, man. I’ll get you the good stuff out here.”


A Fitting Introduction

“Hold Onto Your Butts, Brochachos.”


Eduardo Franco as Argyle in Stranger Things

As one of the new characters in Stranger Things 4, Argyle is first introduced to the series via Eleven’s introductory narrated letter she is writing to Mike. El describes Argyle’s lengthy hair and the smelly plants that he and Jonathan use, but not even those descriptors do justice to the loud and proud way that Argyle introduces himself.

When he arrives to pick up the extended Byers family for school, Argyle is in full surfer mode, complete with his Surfer Boy Pizza van. “Hold onto your butts, brochachos,” he gleefully exclaims, perfectly fitting the stereotype of the surfer bro while also adding his own colorful flair.


Argyle’s New Invention

“Americantendo.”


Argyle, Will, Mike, and Jonathan in Stranger Things

Even when he is constantly depicted as being high and clueless, Argyle can still be pretty quick on his feet sometimes. As Will, Mike, Jonathan, and Argyle visit Suzie in Utah to request her help in locating the NINA Project, they somehow convince her that the IP address they need her to track will help them win a new video game console.

The name of this new, exciting 16-bit product is, according to Argyle, “Americantendo.” Given the prevalence of video games throughout the series, this joke is perfectly in keeping with the group’s interests, even if Argyle is a new member.

His Flair For Dumb Jokes

“I Call It A Weeder.”


An image of Argyle looking serious in Stranger Things

Argyle’s sense of humor is unique, to put it mildly. With his personality influenced by his usage of marijuana as much as it is, it’s no surprise that one of the first scenes his character features in finds him incorporating his love of cannabis into a school project.


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While in shop class, Argyle proudly approaches Jonathan with his latest woodworking project, a bird feeder carved into the shape of a marijuana plant. “I call it a weeder,” he goofily announces, possibly even prouder of his joke than he is of his craftsmanship.

An Unexpectedly Sweet Moment

“Who Would I Tell? You’re My Only Friend, Jonathan.”


Argyle smiles at Jonathan Byers in Stranger Things

There are many storylines across Stranger Things 4 that find characters paired off in new ways, but few relationships are as endearing as the new friendship between Argyle and Jonathan. Jonathan has always been somewhat of an outsider and a loner, so it’s definitely heartwarming to see him find a true friend in Argyle.


But Jonathan isn’t the only one who has been struggling in the social department, it seems. As Jonathan asks Argyle to keep a secret, Argyle poignantly notes, “Who would I tell? You’re my only friend, Jonathan.”

Argyle Gives Jonathan A Hilarious Reality Check

Jonathan: “Can You Pass Me The Olive Oil?”

Argyle: “That’s Wine.”


Jonathan Byers and Argyle talk at dinner in Stranger Things

When Murray unexpectedly shows up at the Byers’ home in California, he treats the extended family to a homemade risotto dinner. During this dinner, however, Jonathan and Argyle are both completely ‘baked,’ which leads to some truly humorous interactions.

It really says something when Argyle is portrayed as the voice of reason between the two of them, too, which makes this particular exchange all the more hilarious. When Jonathan deliriously asks Argyle if he can “pass [him] the olive oil,” Argyle’s dry response – “that’s wine” – is arguably one of the season’s biggest laughs.

Argyle’s Knack For Summarizing Events

Argyle: “This Girl Got Shmacked In The Head Today At The Roller Rink.”

Jonathan: “Shmacked?”

Argyle: “Yeah, It Was One Of Those Vicious Skate Attacks.”


Jonathan Byers and Argyle stoned at dinner in Stranger Things

The incident at Rink-O-Mania is one of the most horrifying things in Stranger Things 4, given the intensity of emotion Eleven experiences, the cruel bullying on display, and Eleven’s violent outburst. But the intensity of those violent events is somewhat lessened when Argyle is the one explaining what happened.

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“This girl got shmacked in the head today at the roller rink,” a still-high Argyle explains at dinner that night. He further clarifies this in true Argyle fashion, saying that “it was one of those vicious skate attacks.” Clearly, Argyle spends a lot of time thinking about these things.

Love At First Sight

“Absolutely, Eden. I Will Shove Her For You. I Will Do Anything For You.”


Argyle smiles goofily at Eden in Stranger Things

The romantic relationships in Stranger Things have been met with varying levels of enthusiasm from fans over the seasons, but no love story has featured such a clear-cut example of love at first sight as the unexpected romance between Argyle and Suzie’s older sister, Eden (at least for Argyle, it’s love at first sight).

As soon as Argyle sets sight on Eden, who is trying in vain to corral her many wild younger siblings, he practically swoons on the spot, his eyes going wide and his smile goofier than ever. Sure enough, he is immediately lovestruck, assuring Eden that he “will shove [Suzie] for [her], [He] will do anything for [her.],


Argyle’s Highest Compliment For Murray’s Cooking

“This Risotto Is Shmackin’, Dude.”


Argyle talking to Murray Bauman in Stranger Things

As should be clear by now, Argyle is one of Stranger Things‘ greatest comedic assets, which makes his interactions with one of the series’ other best comic characters – Brett Gelman’s Murray Bauman – all the more hilarious to behold.

During the intense Byers family dinner, Argyle breaks the tension by informing Murray, with utmost seriousness, that “This risotto is shmackin’, dude.” Murray seems momentarily pleased, before observing, “I still have no idea who he is.” If only he knew, these two would be unstoppable together.

Argyle’s Unsuccessful Pitch For Pineapple On Pizza

“I Still Highly Recommend Slapping Some Juicy Pineapple On Your Pie. Oh, Fruit On Your Pizza Is Gnarly, You Say? Well, I Say Try Before You Deny. … Hello?”


Stranger Things Argyle Season 4 Die Hard

Pineapple on pizza is one of the never-ending debates in the food world, with most people either passionately for or against the tropical fruit’s placement on the Italian classic. Argyle is loud and proud about his preference for the almost Hawaiian-style pie, but unfortunately, his sales pitch comes at an inopportune moment.

When answering the phone at Surfer Boy Pizza, Argyle proclaims, “I still highly recommend slapping some juicy pineapple on your pie. Oh, fruit on your pizza is gnarly, you say? Well, I say try before you deny.” Unfortunately, his suggestion is met with silence, leading him to meekly ask, “Hello?”

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