From mantras to meditation, mindfulness to manifestation, Well Intentioned offers an intimate look at how to make space for self-care in meaningful ways, big and small.
Tiffany Haddish is a very good multitasker. “Currently I am washing clothes—and I took out the trash before I signed onto this call!” she says with a laugh on a recent cross-country Zoom. With the kind of schedule the 42-year-old actor currently has, excellent time management is all but essential. Following a star turn in this spring’s The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent opposite Nicholas Cage, and on the back of the release of her first children’s book, Layla, the Last Black Unicorn, Haddish is currently filming the second season of The Afterparty, AppleTV+’s hit comedy murder mystery. She’s also actively editing her second essay collection, I Curse You With Joy (HarperCollins), which is due out later this fall. There’s not much time for “Little TT,” as Haddish refers to her inner self. But she is similarly regimented about finding moments for self-care whenever—and wherever—she can.
“I’ve been taking vitamins my whole life. It’s something my mom and grandmother were particular about,” she says of a routine that now includes a range of gummies from the brand Vitafusion, which she partnered with earlier this year as a spokesperson. Her mother and grandmother were also avid gardeners, something that was passed on to Haddish, who grows, cooks, dehydrates, and juices a lot of her own food. “I like being out there when I’m a little angry,” she admits of the soil-to-soul catharsis. “I’ll find all the weeds I don’t like, and when I rip them out, it makes me feel good.” Other things that make Haddish feel good? YouTube videos of babies laughing (“Babies’ laughs are magic!”), and a positive affirmation ripped from the pop charts. Here, the all-around funny lady shares an all-natural seasoning tip, and a specific recitation she believes “we all need to know.”
1. Get in the Garden
2. Sleep is Sacred
3. Speak Your Truth
I like to speak positive affirmations, not just think them but actually speak them out loud, like, “Tiffany Haddish, I love and approve of you.” I’ll do that for like five minutes if I’m feeling low, or if I read a negative social media comment. Because that stuff gets in your head. So the idea is to affirm that even if the world doesn’t approve of you, I approve of you. You’ve gotta give that to yourself. I have another one I like to say when there is a lot of chaos and everything is a mess:
My affairs are in keeping with infinite wisdom.
I am guided by divine intelligence.
That Tiffany of spirit inspires my mind and flows through my actions.
Life flies open to me, rich, full, and abundant.
I say that when everything is chaotic. I read it somewhere and memorized it. I also chant Whitney Houston’s The Greatest Love of All every single day. I don’t sing it, I say it. Out loud. I’m a Whitney Houston fan but I’m more a fan of those words. I don’t know who wrote it, but whoever wrote it is a genius! It’s something we all need to know:
I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be.
Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me.
I decided long ago
Never to walk in anyone’s shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I’ll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can’t take away my dignity.
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself.
It is the greatest love of all.
Powerful words! It just puts me in the mindset of, you know, the future is always watching you. They’re paying attention. So I try my best not to oppress them but to lift them up. That’s why I wrote layla, No matter how different you are, or where you’re from. It doesn’t matter. You’re special just the way you are.
4. Set Social Media Limits
Sometimes I get caught up in the Instagram and the Twitter of it all and I’ll be online for like four hours. And that’s too many hours. I don’t have that many hours of the day! I won’t finish things because I’m looking at everyone else’s business—and I’m not even that nosy! TikTok will suck you in. And then I don’t get enough sleep. So I’m not allowed to be on social media for more than an hour everyday, and I’ll set an alarm. You can use the time whenever—it’s cumulative—you just pause the timer. But this way, when I want to look at social media before I go to sleep—you know, when you open up a negative comment, and then you need to open up your fake account so you can go comment on their page—I might only have five minutes left on my time. And once that timer goes off, that’s it. Put it to the side.
5. Learn to Let Go